hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
