i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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