nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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