OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
