Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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