It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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