Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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