You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
