You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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