Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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