I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Two words: blizzard sex
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
