how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
