No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
