I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
