Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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