Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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