Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
