I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
