His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
