You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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