she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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