In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
