I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
