I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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