I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
