and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
