this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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