Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
