So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
