He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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