i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
