literally had 100 drinks last night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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