Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
