This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
