I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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