Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
