They should really pass out barf bags in church
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
