you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize