the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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