Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
