On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
