remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
