The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize