Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
