How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
