yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
