new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
