Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize