i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
