im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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