I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
