Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
