she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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