Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
