I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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