I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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