There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
