I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
