when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am one with the molecules
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
