does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
