She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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