Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
