O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
