Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
