the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
