actually, I'm a sock model
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
