Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
