idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
