who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
