The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
