Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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