first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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