Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
