EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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