My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
40s are totally the cure
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
