With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
