dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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