Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
