He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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