so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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